Shared from: Things Every Girl Wants But Wont Ask For

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the
divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain
and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly
move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other
anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold
her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I
walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a
smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative
reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m
a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create
an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥
Remember love is the richest of all treasures.
Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything. Love never perishes , even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground up, similarly the basis of love
is the soul, and it is indestructible and therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed , but not love.

Totally mess up :(

Kemaren itu gw OSK di Budi Utomo. Cape bgt belajar eko mulu, ampe eneg gw. Tapi harusnya ya kalo ud cape2 blajar hasilnya bisa, lah ini kaga bisa -_- susah bgt. Gw bisanya itungannya doang, teorinya ancur lebur ckckckck mgkn temen gw bisa kali tuh ya. Emg dia jagonya teori gtu, kalo itungan mah rada krg teliti.
Pertamanya pas dtg kesitu banyak bgt pesertanya, banyakan dr skola negri gtu sih.. Nunggunya agak lama, pertamanya fisika dulu d suru masuk ke aula, jd lombanya itu di aula.. Trs mat,kim,bio masuk. Eh trnyata tempatnya uda kepenuhan, jd yang geo di kelas dbwh, gw yg eko sama tik di sman 1, gedung sebelah. Lagian aneh juga, harusnya smuanya uda disiapin dong ya, masa gatau pesertanya banyak bgt ampe gamuat tuh ruangan. Yasudah jd gw kerjain soalnya d aula sman 1, sayangnya isi aulanya tuh kursi smua, yg kursi+meja cuma dikit. Untung gw dapet yg ada mejanya jd enak. Resemya tuh temen gw tuh ud kek cewe pdhl dia cowo --" pertama sakit maag, lagian bodong uda disuru sarapan dulu d rumah tp dia kaga sarapan. Ya kalo sakit maag DL lah. Trs pas lg ngerjain nanya jem brp molo, gamodal bgt bener gabisa apa ngeliat hp kek apa kek nanya gw mulu ganggu tau ga, uda pusing ngerjainnya karna soalnya susah -_- ud gtu dia jg bilang 'aduh pegel nih' yeeee smua jg pada pegel kali, emg cuma dia doang. Yg laen yg dpt kursi doang malah lebi parah duduknya di lantai trs ngerjain di kursi. Masi untung dpt meja, syukur kek, ini bisanya ngeluh doang. Stenga jem trakir dia uda slese tuh, kan dikasi konsumsi gtu, eh dia malah makan tau ga! Org lg sibuk pusing2 ngerjain soal dia malah asik2an makan. Ya gw tau dia sakit maag, tp tau malu dikit kek sopan kek dikit. Yg ada gw yg dibikin malu --" dafuq

Ude ah gw males ngmgin tuh org. Cape ati.
Yaah doain aja deh gw bisa lolos OSK nya... :)

Holidayyyy

Haiii..
seperti biasa pada awal blog gw akan nulis "uda lama ga ngeblog"
Hehehe ya emg kenyataannya gitu sih..

Gw sekarang lg liburan, jd sempet nulis d blog. Padahal liburnya ud dari minggu lalu sih hehehe :p
Gw mo cerita banyaaaaaakkkk hal...
Pertama, sebelum libur itu gw UTS, menurut gw sih biasa aja, tapi ditambah sama jualan itu jd agak berat. Gw dapet giliran jualan tuh urutan ke 10, dan 'hoki' abis dapetnya pas lg UTS (what a wonderful world). Padahal sih uda minta sama gurunya buat ditunda aja karna lagi UTS, tapi gurunya ga ngasih. Soalnya kapan lg bisa jualan, waktu uda mepet kelompok masi banyak, yah jadilah gw jualan.
Gw jualan banyak, kalo dari gw sendiri ada bitterbalen, sandwich, bakpao, dan lemon tea. Kalo dari temen-temen gw yang laen ada mie ayam, nasi uduk, nasi goreng(oriental+indonesian), siomay goreng, sosis goreng, nugget, mantao goreng, es milo, es sirop nata de coco, sama pudding. Oya ada juga ciki2 gitu+richeese dkk. Banyak bgt yah, padahal cuma jualan seminggu hehehe. Tapi untungnya lumayan lah.. Selama jualan gw bener2 pikirin bgt ampe ga bisa tidur. Tiap hari tidur malem buat nyiapin jualan+belajar buat UTS juga. Paginya juga mesti bangun lebi pagi buat goreng bitterbalen+bikin sandwich. Cape bgt dan karna itu gw jadi sering marah2 ama anggota kelompok gw. Gw tau gw salah bgt, karena gw ga seharusnya ngoceh2 mulu. Emg sih gw orgnya emosian dan moody. Tapi sisi baiknya, TUHAN kasi gw kemampuan untuk ngerjain soal UTS, padahal gw belajarnya krg maksimal, ga kayak biasanya karna waktu mepet bgt. THANKS GOD. Tuhan emg bener2 baik bgt sama gw. Selama jualan gw tuh bener2 ga konsen belajar karna kepikiran terus. Pelajaran keknya terbengkalai. Uda gtu hari ke3 jualan, pas pelajaran seni, ada salah satu temen gw bawa DVD Insidious. Tadinya gw gamau ntn karna gw gasuka film horor. Yaialah setan tuh harusnya dibasmi, ini malah ditonton, dasar org2 bodoh. Mau aja dibodohin ama setan! Padahal gw gamau ntn, tapi akhirnya ke-nonton juga, karna gw juga ada d kls itu. Ceritanya sereeeeeemmmm. Mgkn gw agak pengecut, tp pas ntn d kls itu gw ga takut sama skali, malah gw ketawa karna adegannya konyol menurut gw. Eh tapi pas di rumah baru deh berasa. Kalo org pada takut ngeliat setan kek pocong kunti dkk, kalo gw tuh takut ngeliat ada item2 gtu. Kebetulan di kamar gw ada jendelanya, jadi otomatis sering ngeliat keluar, jadi berasa takut ngeliat sesuatu yg tidak diinginkan karna diluar gelap. Errrrrrrr rese bgt tu film.

Balik lg ke jualan...
Jualan itu bener2 cape bgt, gw tuh inisiatif buat keliling2 kelas jualannya. Karna kebanyakan org pada males turun ke bawah ato keluar kelas buat beli makanan. Giliran dianterin baru mau beli. Lumayan sih yg gw jual laku semua. Tapi ada crita nih, salah seorang cowo di kls ipa itu rese bgt. Bukan rese dalam artian jahil ato apa, tapi dia tuh kayaknya ada maksud tertentu beli makanan yg gw jual. Dia itu mau minta foto sama gw! What the.... Bukan gw kepedean ya, tp emg gtu kenyataannya. Dasar Freak! Gw gasuka karna caranya konyol. Ngapain sih minta foto sama gw? Emg gw artis? Ya emg dulu gw pengen jd artis, tp ga ampe segitunya juga kali. Kayaknya dia emg kelainan mental deh. Liat aja ud berapa cewe yang foto berdua sama dia. Kayaknya dia pengen diliat org kalo dia tuh laku, banyak cewe yg ngejar2 dia. Padahal kaga ada sama sekali! Cewe yg dia suka aja ngejauhin dia HAHAHA bukannya gw jahat ya, tp emg anaknya sakit jiwa gtu, uda kek psikopat aja. Karna gw terkenan jutek, jadi gw bener2 ngasi syarat yg berat buat dia, karna gw gapengen jadi korban selanjutnya. AMIT-AMIT NAJIS CUIHHH.


Setelah jualan berakhir, UTS pun berakhir, dan liburan dimulai!! :)
Jujur ya liburan ini gw bener2 bermalas-malas ria di rumah. Hari pertama libur itu, gw pegi berenang sama Siska di GM, enak bgt deh renang disana, udah bisa olahraga sekalian ngerumpi juga wkwkwk
Pas tanggal merah ato minggu/sabtu gtu gw nonton DVD korea It's Okay, Daddy's girl. Sebenernya itu DVDnya uda lama tapi baru sempet ntn aja. Dramanya bagus menurut gw karna kalo biasanya drama korea tuh crita percintaan dengan pacar dkk, tapi ini gak, ini crita keluarga. Cinta kepada ayah lah gtu. Ceritanya mengharukan deh, ga mungkin juga kan gw ceritain disini, panjang bgt brooo. Singkat aja, setelah ntn itu gw jd bersemangat buat nyari kerja sambilan gtu. Pertama yg gw targetin tuh kerja di PRJ. Tadinya sih pengen jadi SPG merek2 apa gtu, tapi gajadi karna banyakan SPG yg gajinya gede tuh yg SPG rokok, motor mobil ban dkk. Kalo rokok gw ogah karna kalo nawarin rokok tuh sama aja dosa. Karna org yg ngerokok tamba lu tawarin ya tambah ngerokok, jadi tu org lama2 numpuk penyakitnya dan akhirnya bakal mati. Sama aja membunuh org itu pelan2 kan? Uda gtu SPG begituan tuh bajunya seksoy seksoy semua dan pastinya bakal digodain cowo2 terutama bapak2 kalo ga mas2. Males bgt kan?! Emg sih kalo mo dapet duit ya emg gtu resikonya. Tapi gw bukan tipe org yg mau melakukan apapun demi uang. Ya gw emg mau dapet uang, tapi dengan cara yg logis lah. Jangan mau dibutakan oleh uang! So finally gw pengen coba jadi ticketing aja. Pdahal gatau kerjanya apaan wkakaakk Tp info kerja di PRJ tuh dikit bgt di internet. Yang tau share dong.. Yg gw tau lowongannya tuh dibuka dari April-Mei. Ya emg masi sebulan lg, tapi cari2 info dulu boleh kan? Supaya lebih tau juga. Gw juga tertarik jadi barista ato ga waitre di starbucks deket rumah gw. Tapi setelah gw cari2, ternyata starbucks nyari barista yg minimal semester 6. Gila kan, gw kuliah aja belom.. Pupus dah harapan gw, padahal kan enak gtu bisa kerja part-time, lumayan bisa hasilin duit sendiri biar ntar kalo bisa pas kuliah gw bisa bayar pake duit gw sendiri. Kuliah emg masi lama, tapi kalo nabung dr sekarang kan lebih baik. Tapi kerja sambilan apa yg nerima anak SMA ingusan kek gw? Wkakakak ga ingusan juga sih..

Sebenernya banyak bgt yg gw pikirin pas liburan, ada lg ttg SCJ (Science Club Jenjang) Eko yang gw ikutin tiap sabtu. Bingung kan knp Ekonomi dibilang science, padahal itu kan jurusan IPS. Katanya sih ekonomi itu masih ada nilai sciencenya, ga sepenuhnya ips gitu soalnya ada penerapan matematikanya gtu. Yang pengen gw critain itu temen2 gw yg ikut scj. Rese bgt tuh temen gw yg juga ikut SCJ Eko kek gw, pada demen ngebolos. Gw aja kaga perna ngebolos! Yg 1 yg cewe tuh uda ngebolos 4X, bener2 ganiat deh kayaknya padahal uda bagus dikasi pelatihan biar tar OSK(olimpiade sains kota) bisa lolos. Lah ini gaada niat sama skali buat memajukan dan membersihkan nama sekolah gw. Sekolah gw tuh emg sering di cap org sekolah jelek, mgkn plg jelek :| Ya gimana gamo dianggep jelek ma org lain, lah dari muridnya aja gaada yg mau memperbaiki --" Ikut lomba aja males, ya selamanya gabakal bisa maju dah.
Yang satu lagi, yg cowo tuh juga males, tapi ga lebih dr yg cewe. Walopun males, tapi dia anaknya geek gtu gila ekonomi lah ya. Yaialah, org2 tuh blajar di skolah aja uda cape ditambah scj lagi, uda gtu yg gilanya ya dia tuh sering minjem buku ke perpus, bukan minjem novel kek anak2 laen, dia malah minjem buku ekonomi yg tebel2. GILA GA TUH? bener2.... gw si ga sanggup deh, banyak kerjaan kali. Kalopun ada waktu luang juga dipake buat istirahat kali. Kalo baca buku begituan mah males, yg ada gw jadiin bungkusan cabe kali wkakakak
Gara2 mreka pada ngebolos gw jadi sendirian di kelas. Gw bingung mo ikut nimbrung ama yg laen ato duduk sndri. Kalo duduk sndri tar dibilang ansos alias anti sosial. Kalo nimbung tar dibilang SKSD, ud gtu gw jg ga jago ngmg dan cenderung pasif. Banyakan tuh temen gw yg nyamperin gw duluan(pas kenalan dulu) karna gw terlalu malu buat ngajak kenalan. Emg rada pengecut sih.. :( Jadilah gw duduk sndri di belakang. Knp gw duduk di belakang, karna biar ga ditanyain hohoho Ya abis anak2 laen tuh ya kalo ditanya bisa, lah ini gw malah bingung gatau jawabannya apa, gw berasa paling bodoh di kelas itu ckckckck Ud gtu kadang gw suka bosen pas di SCJ, ya abisnya blajar eko 5 jem gimana ga stres. Doain aja dah biar gw bisa lolos OSK, terus OSP (Olimpiade Sains Provinsi) kalo bisa ampe OSN(Olimpiade Sains Nasional). AMINNNN...

Uda dulu yah gw mo kerjain tugas dulu, banyak tugas bgt yg belom kesentuh.. Sebenernya ga banyak sih, cuma di lebayin aja wkakakak

Byeeeee see you soon :)

Maybe i'm missing you?

I meet ordinary ppl and talk to them
Laugh with them, just like usual, without any thoughts.
Tv is my only friend at night
I finally go to sleep when the sun rises in the morning
I’m too shabby, i might have liked you a lot.
After you left, the blue sky seems like it’s just yellow
Where are you feeling hurt, i’m here
Or maybe you’re in love with someone else
Some other love, i miss you my baby
My heart feels this sad but i have no one to talk to
I wanna smile broadly sometime but have no one beside me
Maybe i’m missing you

Back then, we were like that
Between you and me it was all clear and pure
First it was all about love, just like everyone says
Why did we do that though we all know
(But) as time goes, like the glass breaking
Like the ring in hands losing its light
Like getting a cut by a sharp knife
Like strangling my neck with the chain of restriction
The memories that i have with you
Which i thought they’re gonna be always good
Though i hate it, only the wounds and unsolved misunderstandings are left.
I needed to hold back till the end
The words of “i’m breaking up with you”
(Yet) the time we fight and argue
It was better than now.
My heart feels this sad but i have no one to talk to
I wanna smile broadly sometime but have no one beside me
Maybe i’m missing you

I still feel like you’re next to me everyday when i open my eyes
Can’t we turn the times back that we’ve been
together
My heart feels this sad but i have no one to talk to
I wanna smile broadly sometime but have no one beside me
Maybe i’m missing you

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KACAU BALAU

Lu tau ga rasanya dibutakan saat ngerjain soal ulangan?
Gw ngerasain itu kemaren. Padahal belajar bisa, tp pas ulangan gw merasa bego, kayak yg ga blajar. Aneh kan? Harusnya mah yg dr blajar gabisa eh pas ulgn bisa, lah gue kebalikannya. Bener2 kacau. Mgkn gw dihukum ama Tuhan, dikasi pelajaran sama Tuhan.
Kalau dilihat dr fisik gw, mgkn karena kecapean dan terlalu stres mikirin drama. Uda bela2in 2 hari pulang malem buat latian drama, tp toh hasilnya jg sama aja, ancur lebur smuanya. Gara2 pd ga siap dan gabisa acting. Yah gw gamau salahin mreka doang, gw jg sebenernya lebih banyak salah. Gw terlalu mentingin lagu rekamannya, jd bagian2 laen terbengkalai. Gw terlalu mentingin hasilnya mesti perfect, pdhl gaada yg smpurna dan akan susah ngeharapin kesempurnaan dr anggota2 yg sukanya maen mulu bcanda mulu, gabisa serius. Ya pantes dong kalo gw marah2? Gw marah2 aja hasilnya tetep jelek, gmn kalo gw lembek? Gw emg kayaknya ga cocok jd pemimpin, ga cocok ngatur2. Gw orgnya cepet stres, gw butuh org kepo!!!!!!! Gw gabisa jd org kepo!!!! Rasanya gw pengen triak sekenceng2nya. Mgkn gw yg nyebabin smuanya ancur, kesalahan smua di gw yg trlalu maksain smuanya. Ga bisa liat situasi.
Seharusnya gw gausa terlalu mikirin ttg drama, ampe jdnya plajaran laen terbengkalai. Nilai gw jd nurun, ga smua plajaran sih, cuma mat, sos sama geo. Gatau knp mgg ini gw males bgt blajar. Apalagi blajar sos ama geo, gila lah masa dlm sehari ul 2, kalo mayor 1,minor 1 mah gpp, ini 2-2nya mayor coba. Jadinya sos gw cuma dpt 75, untung sih, kalo salah 1 lg gw bisa remed tuh. Geo jg blm dibalikkin, tp esaaynya gw ngisinya ngawur bgt, tp at least pg nya gw lumayan lah. Semoga bisa ngebantu.
Nah hari jumat ini ada 2 ulangan, akun+mat. Udah gtu drama bi jg tampilnya hari jumat dan ada quiz mat (guru yg beda). Hari kamis pulang itu gw ada ekskul akun, gw bsa blajar d sana dan jd gw gaus blajar lg d rumah. Abis ekskul gw lgsg latian drama ampe jem 6. Pulang2 gw bener2 cape bgt, itupun gw harus edit rekamannya lg. Jem 10an baru slese dan w baru blajar mat yg buat ul. Mata gw bener2 sepet bgt, sekali merem aja uda mo jatoh pala gw. Ud kayak ga tidur sehari. Akhirnya stelah gw slese bljar yg buat ulangan mat+siapin bawaan buat drama, gw memutuskan buat tdr, jd gw ga blajar yg buat quiz mat. Karna gw uda pikir kalo gw ga cepet2 tdr, bsk bsa kacau otak gw kalo ngantuk. Apalagi mat kan ngerjainnya butuh otak yg jernih.
Eh bener aja tuh bsokannya, akun+quiz mat nya gw bisa ngerjainnya, tp ulangan mat nya gw ga ngerti knp smuanya jd gabisa. Gw uda ngisi jawabannya, tp gatau napa jawabn akhir gw aneh bgt. Gw uda merasa itu salah, tp gw gatau kesalahannya dmn. Uda soalny cuma 2 nomer pula, 1 nomer lg gambar grafik gtu. Gw nemu titik nya jg aneh. Gw ga ngerti itu salah dmn, ato emg soalnya gtu, gw bener2 ga ngerti. Jd mau ga mau gw tetep harus isi jawaban. Ulangannya cuma 30menit gara2 kelamaan ngatur meja. Jadi tamatlah riwayat gw. Disuru ngumpul gw ya terpaksa ngumpul. Gw tau gw bakal dpt 0. Gini toh rasanya jd org bego. Gw lgsg nyoba kerjain lg dan nanya temen gw yg bisa. Akhirnya gw tau salah dmn, harusnya dikurang malah gw tambah. Yaudah uda salah smua. Walopun salah d tengah doang ya abis smua. Kenapa sih gw? Kenapa gw begini? Kenapa gw bego bgt gini? Plajaran slanjutnya kan ing, disuru ngerjain powerbook, gw nangis terus, gabisa nahan air mata gw. Tp gw diem2, nutupin. Ampe temen sbelah gw aja mgkn gatau karna asik2an ngobrol sama temen blakang gw.
Gw gatau lg mesti gmn. Gw ngebayangin tar ulangannya dibagiin dan disebutin nilainya d dpan kelas, gmn gw ga malu? Bisa2 nangis lg gw, reputasi gw ancur. Pasti smua kaget dan ngomongin gw, bukannya geer tp bgtulah manusia. Susah jd org pinter, skali pinter mesti pinter terus, jatoh skali lgsg ancur imagenya. Mana ada sih org yg mau mikir alesannya? Knp gw bisa dpt jelek, kno gw bisa abisa ngejainnya? Mgkn ada sebagian kecil org yg peduli sama gw. Tp cuma sebagian kecil yg mengenal diri gw, yg laen cuma bisa ngomongin doang, padahal gatau apa2, gatau yg sebenernya tp bisanya ngomongin org doang. Merasa dirinya plg perfect kali.
Istirahat gw curcol ama temen gw, dan gabisa ngebendung air mata gw lg. Tp temen gw ini emg plg jago menenangkan org. Stelah curcol jd lega. Dia blg "gpp lah, kan masi ada remed walopun cuma dpt kkm doang. Kegagalan adalah jalan menuju sukses Lagian kan org cuma 1 ini doang, yg laen kan gak." gw merasa tenang bgt. Setelah pulang gw telp mak gw, mak gw blg jg "gpp lah org kan ada naek ada turunnya, ga slalu diatas." bener bgt kata mreka ini. Kalo gw ga pernah gagal, gmn gw mau blajar? Justru karna gagal, gw bisa memperbaiki diri jd lebih baik dan blajar dr kesalahan. Gw aja yg terlalu mikirin gmn tanggapan org ntar. Pdhl mreka smua itu gatau apa2 ttg gw, gausa peduliin apa yg mreka omongin. Ga penting jg kan? Gw mo dpt bagus ato jelek jg bukan urusan mreka. Yg untung yg rugi jg gw. Ngapain mreka harus ngebacot ikut campur sgala?

Pelajaran gw hari ini, kita gaboleh takut gagal karna dibalik kegagalan ada hari cerah yg menunggu. Gausa peduliin kata org, peduliin kata Tuhan dalam Firman-Nya, karna kata Tuhan selalu benar.
:)

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Hidup sabar

Haloo lama ga ngeblog nih..
Sekarang mo cerita ttg kekesalan gw hari ini.
Kenapa yah banyak bgt yg bikin gw kesel ni hari? Gw uda bener2 sabar bgt ni hari. Org nyolotin gw aja gw sabar. Walopun dlm hati gw bener2 kesel bgt. Gw cape hidup selalu mengalah dan gabisa ngelawan. Tapi kalo gw ngelawan bakal lebih parah dampaknya. Tapi sekali2 gw bener2 pengen marah besar. Biar orang2 tuh ga seenaknya aja ama gw, dan mikir kalo gw mah ga mgkn marah.
The first problem today is sosio drama. Gara2 kelompok laen tuh pada sama inti ceritanya, yaitu di sekolah dan konfliknya ttg nyontek. Gw jg bikin kayak gitu walopun sdkt beda. Tp sue nya itu gw kan klmpk trakir, pasti bakal dibilang nyontek lah ya. Makanya gw tanya ke seorang temen gw yg juga anggota kelompok gw, jadinya harus gmn. Dia blg suruh ganti crta, dan dia nanya siapa sih yg kasi ide dengan nada nyolot. Ya ga penting lah siapa yg kasi ide. Kalo lu tau trus lu mau marahin orgnya gtu? Itumah gabakal nyelesain masalah. Kita sekelompok emg salah, jd gaada maen cari kambing hitam. Gw bener2 pengen marah, dia tuh kalo komentarin+kritik org tuh plg jago, ngejelekin buatan org, ya tp dia gapernah mau mikir, maunya enaknya aja. Egois, gapernah mikirin perasaan org. Gatau apa org punya perasaan? Kalo dia digituin mau ga? Bisanya cuma bersungut2 dan ngeluh doang. Gmn gw ga kesel? Ya kalo lu emg mau ganti, merasa ide lu lebih bagus yaudah bikin lah naskahnya. Bikin naskah aja males, malah maen2 kalo ga ya blg 'gataulah', 'jangan tanya gw', 'jgn gitulah jelek'. Bisanya ngmg aja, nulis aja gamau. Mesti gw mulu yg nulis, mesti mikirin ampe jadi. Yg ngasi ide sih enak aja bisa lepas tangan. Nyari ide mah gampang, cuma nampungnya susah dan ngerangkainya jd satu itu yg susah. Heran gw sama dia, sifatnya ga berubah jg. Kalo gw jahat mah gw udah ngatain+maki2 dia. Tapi gw jg masih mikirin perasaan dia. Kalo gw kata2in ya pasti dia kesel, habislah hubungan pertemanan kita. Gw plg anti deh ama yg namanya musuhan. Ngapain sih cari musuh? Gaenak kali punya musuh. Enakan tuh nyari temen yg banyak selagi bisa.
Hidupnya tuh penuh kebencian, org berbuat baik ama dia aja dia negative thinking, gamau positive thinking. Gmn hidup lu bsa berubah kalo lu nya bgtu?
Gw cuma bisa blg gtu doang, supaya lu bisa berubah jd lebih baik. Selebihnya tggl diri lu sndri yg harus ngerubah diri lu. Semoga lu bisa merubah sikap buruk lu itu dan lebih pemikirkan perasaan org lain.

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ILFEEEELLLL!!!

Lu tau gmn rasanya ilfeel itu? Btw udah lama bgt gw ga curhat di blog, hello again people :) Okay back to the point.. Belakangan ini gw merasa ada yg aneh ama tu cowo. Masa dia sering bgt nanya2 plajaran k gw, emg sih gw termasuk jajaran org "clever" di kelas, but i'm not that smart at all.. Menurut gw dia tuh suka caper gtu, i think.. But i'm not really sure, maybe he like me. Just maybe.. Mgkn gw terlalu pede B) tp please GOD, masa gw sekali disukain ama org, orgnya kayak gtu sih, ga mutu bgt, gaada yg lebih bagus apa? Bukannya gw pemilih, tp kita emg mesti memilih yg baik kan? Wkwkwk  Then, dia kmrn suru gw ajarin dia mat, ga jelas bgt alesannya, dia blg dia ud pasti remed, padahal blm tau remednya kapan. Gmn ga caper tuh? Jelas bgt itu modus!!!!! Ya gw terpaksa deh ngajarin dia, irritating bgt sumpah. Ud gtu dia suru ajarin gw pas plg skola, SKSD bgt woy! Ketauan bgt itu dlm rangka PDKT... Errrrrrr bener2 ilfeel bgt.. Liat aja ntar gw jutekin baru tau rasa.. Gw emg orgnya gtu, kalo cowo ada yg ngedeketin gw tapi orgnya ga gw suka, ya gw jutekin. Lagian mending cakep, ugly iya.  Gw tadinya biasa aja sama dia, tapi gara2 presentasi ing, dia ud gw suru afalin bagiannya, tapi ujung2nya pas presentasi dia baca tau. Taeeeeee bgt. Benci bgt ama org kek gtu. Uda dikasi tgg jawab tp dilalaikan gtu. Gara2 dia presentasi yg uda gw buat sebagus mgkn biar org tertarik, malah gurunya blg apa coba? Gurunya blg kecewa ama klmpk gw. Gmn ga bete kayak gtu. Gw uda buat smuanya ampe begadang mulu. Bagian2 yg mesti diapal jg gw yg buat smua,tp apa jadinya? Smua perjuangan gw hancur lebur, pupus!! Dianya sendiri aja ga nyadar sama sekali tau, ga merasa bersalah tahee. GOD, i wish he can stay away from me, gausa caper+deket2 ama gw. Amin